How to Make Friends with the Dust Bunnies

In my pre-mommy days, I had the luxury of keeping my house clean enough to meet even my mother's high standards. Then I carried my first adorable offspring home, embarking upon the never-ending quest to balance time for myself, my spouse, my children, my work and…a clean house. I've had to abandon my ideal vision of spotless floors and sparkling countertops to follow the great advice of many - "don't sweat the dust bunnies."

Most of the time, following this advice has been a challenge for me. You see, I really don't like those dust bunnies. On the other hand, I really don't like to clean either. I'd rather play with my children and stepchildren, spend time with my husband, write or read. To solve this dilemma, I've learned to employ some creative strategies.

Hire the Kids

The child labor laws don't apply in our home. With two children, three stepchildren and more pets now than I care to disclose, our home gets dirty fast.

We've developed a chore schedule and pay the kids a modest allowance, half of which must go in the bank for college (they hate this now but will thank us later). The chores rotate weekly, so no one gets stuck cleaning the toilets every week.

Don't Forget the Honey-Do List

I'm blessed to have a husband who doesn't care if the house is messy. The flip side of his ambivalence is that he doesn't think to clean. After wasting countless hours trying to communicate with him telepathically, I've learned that giving him a list (or just asking nicely) is more likely to result in clean floors.

Trade Chores with Your Children

My children grumble about cleaning their own rooms, but jump at the chance to dust. Sometimes I trade chores I don't like with one of them - "I'll clean your room if you'll empty all the trash cans." They think they're getting away with something!

Use Bribery

Ah, bribery - a parental tactic I save for emergencies and cleaning. I add a twist by turning cleaning into a "party." I turn on fun music and invite the whole family to a sock folding or dusting party. When we're done, we all enjoy a treat - ice cream or popcorn and a movie.

Forget the Slippers and Another Sweater

Instead of another pair of slippers, another piece of jewelry or a knickknack you don't need, ask for a clean house for your next birthday, anniversary or Mother's Day - either the kind delivered by your family's hands or the kind your family hires out. Just don't expect this present to last long with a house full of kids and pets.

Make Friends with the Dust Bunnies

If all else fails, make friends with the dust bunnies and enjoy the mess. If that's impossible, buy a blindfold. A friend of mine once told me she used to walk into her son's messy room and get angry. Now she walks in, looks around and says to herself, "This room looks perfect. I have an active, happy child." Then she waves to the dust bunnies and leaves the room, shutting the door behind her. Oh, to be so brave!

Kelly Kirkendoll Shafer is a mother of two/stepmother of three, writer, speaker and the author of "29 Ways to Make Your Stepfamily Work." She is a regular contributor to Your Stepfamily magazine, the official publication of the Stepfamily Association of America, and she publishes www.StepfamiliesWork.com  and a free monthly newsletter for stepfamilies. Kelly is also the co-founder of a new team concept for women, called CrownAtude, and invites readers to check out what all the fuss is about at http://www.queenpower.com/CrownAtude.html . You can reach Kelly at mailto:kelly@stepfamilieswork.com  .

© 2004-2005 Kelly Kirkendoll Shafer